C.A.R.E. Program

ABOUT AMY BANKS

Who is Dr. Amy Banks?

Dr. Amy Banks is a scholar, author, and creator of the C.A.R.E. Program.

Dr. Amy Banks is a Founding Scholar at the International Center for Growth in Connection (ICGC) and a Senior Scholar at the Wellesley Centers for Women. She is the first person to bring relational-cultural theory together with neuroscience and is the foremost expert in the combined field. She has spoken throughout the country on “The Neurobiology of Relationship” and has an ongoing passion to spread the message that we are hardwired for connection.

CONNECT WITH AMY

114 Waltham Street Suite #17
Lexington MA 02421 USA
781-674-0200

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Amy Banks is a terrific teacher and presenter on relationships and neurobiology! She has a gift for making complex topics accessible for people who might be new to the material and deeper for those with more experience. Amy is a dynamic presenter – she quickly builds rapport with the audience and her passion for the work engages the room.

Harriet L. Schwartz, PhDLead Scholar, Education as Relational Practice, ICGC and Professor, Antioch University, Doctoral Program in Leadership and Change

Superlatives, of which Dr. Banks is most deserving, fail to aptly describe her “ousia,” her true being. To be in her presence, as a client, colleague, or conference attendee, is to be seen and to feel felt—the epitome of mutual empathy. Dr. Banks enlivens and embodies the tenants of relational cultural theory in her practice, infused with a humanizing blend of humor, levity and unselfconsciousness.

Beth Hartman McGilley, PhD, FAED, CEDS-SLicensed Clinical Psychologist, Fellow, Academy for Eating Disorders

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Dr. Banks is the creator of the C.A.R.E. Program (featured in the 2015 book, Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships co-authored with Leigh Ann Hirshman and published by Penguin Books), an easy to use, practical guide that helps clinicians and laypeople assess the quality of their relationships and strengthen their neural pathways for connection.

ICGC

The International Center for Growth in Connection (ICGC) is a national non-profit think and action tank, passionate about fostering authentic connection across difference. We are home to Relational-Cultural Theory, singled out by the American Psychological Association (APA) as one of the ten most important theories in the field of human development today. As a convener and thought-leader, we strive to lead a national conversation about how to create a more relational world.

Harville Hendrix’s Relationships First

Additionally, Dr. Banks is a founding group member of Harville Hendrix’s Relationships First, a small group of prestigious scientists and cultural leaders who promote the idea that “healthy relationships are non-negotiable in a healthy society.”

More from Amy Banks, M.D.

Other notable works include A Complete Guide to Mental Health for Women (co-editor) published in 2004 by Beacon Press and PTSD: Relationships and Brain Chemistry (author) published in 2001. Dr. Banks has also authored numerous articles and book chapters on Relational Cultural Theory, the neurobiology of trauma, and the neurobiology of relationship.

TAKE THE C.A.R.E. ASSESSMENT

START NOW

Take the Relational C.A.R.E. Assessment

A 20 question relational assessment tool that allows you to see your relationships in 3-D and provides invaluable insights into how your pathways for connection are influencing and being influenced by the relationships in your life. Start the assessment.

Guidelines for the C.A.R.E. Assessment

Do:

Find a time when you feel “relatively” ok; do not fill out when you are acutely dysregulated.
Make a list of relationships in your life.
Choose the five relationships that you spend the most time in (both mental and physical) regardless of the quality of the connection.
Enter those names on the chart in #1 – #5.
Embody the relationship: imagine a few interactions with this person noticing what you feel in your body and your mind.
Check out “Four Ways to Click” to find exercises to strengthen your C.A.R.E. scores and enhance your capacity for a healthy relationship.

Do Not:

List your children if they are under 20 years old.
List your five closest relationships (unless they are the relationships you spend the most time in); remember time in any relationship is time spent stimulating the C.A.R.E. Pathways.
Do not overthink your answers! Try to complete the assessment in 20-30 minutes.
Do not do the math. Your scores will be calculated automatically.

C.A.R.E. Scores

Your C.A.R.E. scores, calculated from the answers you recorded on your C.A.R.E. Assessment, provide a snapshot of the relative strength or weakness of your 4 neural pathways for connection. High C.A.R.E. scores are correlated with stronger, safer, and more rewarding relationships.

Relational Safety Groups

Practicing new skills in a relationship makes most people feel vulnerable. You will improve your chances of having a positive relational and learning experience by having a clearer sense of the ability of the relationship to grow. Forming relational safety groups will give you a more nuanced understanding of the relationships in your life and will guide you in choosing the safest relationships when relating in new ways.

C.A.R.E. Exercises

The final step in your C.A.R.E. Plan is to identify and develop personalized C.A.R.E. exercises designed to change your brain in order to improve your relationships.

Wired to Connect is a great resource for starting out. If you want to create a more personalized plan, see Care Consultations.

C.A.R.E. Consultations

If you are interested in a one-on-one consultation with Amy in order to discuss your C.A.R.E Assessment scores and develop a personalized plan, please contact Amy. Consultations begin at $250/hour.

The C.A.R.E. Program Theory

Using Your Brain to Change Your Relationships

Featured in the book Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships, C.A.R.E. is an innovative way to build and improve relationships in your life. Research shows that forming stronger, more rewarding relationships is the clearest way to improve your overall health and well-being. It is the ultimate win-win scenario!

The C.A.R.E. Program knits together three areas of theory and research:

Relational-Cultural Theory (RCT), recently named one of the ten most influential psychological theories of the 20th century. While most Western psychological traditions promote separation and independence as the goals of human development, RCT believes that human growth is through and toward healthy relationships. In fact, RCT believes that the over-focus on individuality gives rise to unrealistic expectations and goals for all people and is a major source of suffering in the world today.
Relational Neuroscience, which identifies four neural pathways that are used by people to form relationships, is a key component of the C.A.R.E program. The robustness of your relational world is directly proportional to the strength and functioning of these four neural pathways for connection. As you improve relationships your neural pathways for connection grow stronger and as your neural pathways for connection strengthen, your relationships improve.
The concept of Neuroplasticity, or the brain’s ability to grow, change, and adapt to the world around it, is also a cornerstone. Two rules of Neuroplasticity stand out: 1) use it or lose it and 2) neurons that fire together wire together. Neurons, like people, function best when they are richly interconnected in communities (neural networks).

One of the basic beliefs of the C.A.R.E. Program is that cultures that are hyper-focused on “standing on your own two feet” do NOT provide the frequent stimulation to the neural pathways needed to keep the pathways strong. Not only will individuals feel more disconnected and stressed but they will also suffer from diseases of all types – emotional and physical. Some familiar disorders of disconnection include:

drug and alcohol addiction
gambling
consumerism
chronic internet surfing
depression and anxiety
eating disorders
violence and aggression